Perhaps that sounds like a silly question, most people would blurt out something like “with your ears”, perhaps with an eye roll for emphasis. Let’s phrase it a different way. What’s your intention when you’re listening to someone speak? Are you listening to understand the speaker? Or are you listening in order to decide what YOU are going to say next. The difference between the two intentions is obvious, and the latter intention can set you up for some very dysfunctional conversations. Listening style comes up a lot in my work with people who are new managers, or who are going on interviews. The feedback I get from those who do the work to change their intention when listening is that it has tremendous payback in their professional and personal lives.